What drew you to foster care?
Well….. there are 2 parts to the question for me.
1- I basically was a foster kid myself. CPS was called many many times and my mom always convinced them that everything was ok. My mom was a drug addict and my dad was an alcoholic and they divorced when I was 5. That’s when step dad entered the picture, along with more drugs, crack houses, random people in and out of the house all night, not having any food or clean clothes and me having to take care of my little brother. Also sexual and verbal abuse from 2nd step dad inflicted on my brother and I. Our bio dad was a cross country truck driver who we saw maybe twice a year and he had just recently gotten married when CPS was called yet again on us and my mom gave us up to my dad who we barely knew and my new stop mom who I didn’t know at all when I was 12. I think technically that’s called “kinship”, but for some reason, that’s not what our case was called. So even though we weren’t technically “foster”, we still were in my opinion. My dad lived 45 miles away from my mom, so I lost all friends, surroundings and everything that was familiar. I had to start over. I guess in hindsight- I was destined to be involved in foster care in one way or another.
2- Fast forward 10 or so years, and I have 1 biological son, married to my junior high sweet heart and I very much disliked all kids (except my own of course) and swore I would never have any more children. In conversations with new and old friends alike, this strange fact about me not liking kids always came up and I didn’t care one bit. Actually, I wanted to scream it from the rooftops for everyone to hear-I DO NOT LIKE KIDS!! Well, a bit of advice if you will: don’t ever let God know what you don’t like. Because He will get ahold of your heart and soul and completely transform you and the very thing that you couldn’t stand, is now the very thing that you’re welcoming into your life with open arms. Begging God for the opportunity to have more of your new favorite things in your life. I began a part time job at a local low income, run down emergency room and something about the kids that came through those doors tugged on my heart strings more than “normal” if that makes sense. Their mothers seemed so irritated and burdened with their child’s presence and often treated them harshly and I just wanted to scoop them up and rescue them. I wanted to tell them that it would be okay and that someone loves them-that I love them. And I guess that’s where it all started. And as I began noticing my softness for these children, it took me by surprise and I was like-wait, I don’t even like kids. So why am I over here crying and heartbroken for them? GOD. That’s why. The tipping point that made my husband and I reach out and take action to become foster parents was when a friend of ours had children in their family that weren’t safe and needed to be taken out of the situation, but none of the adults would step up and do anything about it and I felt helpless. I felt scared for the kids because I saw myself in their situation. I felt rage because of the evil things were being done to them. But, mostly I was sad for them and that I didn’t know how to make it better. Those kids deserved a better life. A life of safety, love, consistency and good and healthy choices. All kids deserve that life. So, God performed a miracle and gave me a heart for broken and hurt kids.
How long have you been a foster parent?
A year and 3 weeks. We received the call for our sibling group fosters about 3 hours after being licensed and its been a whirlwind ever since.
How have your foster children responded to the book?I have a 6 year girly girl foster and her 8 year old brother and their favorite part of the book was the pictures. They pointed out and talked about the pictures and related the pictures to themselves and their experiences over the past year more than actually responding to the story. They both assumed the little girl was going back home with mommy though at the end (my fosters’ mom’s rights were terminated). I had to explain that we don’t know where she’s going, just like we don’t yet know where they are going (We’ve had them since 5 hours after we got licensed and even though there isn’t a forever home for them yet, it is well past time for them to leave our home). Even with that explanation, they repeatedly insisted she was going home with mom, so I just gave up.
Also, it really helped them connect the dots I think to all the things and ways ive been there for them this past year. As we read it, they starting discussing all the times they were sad and hurt and I was right there for them to make them feel better and began thanking me profusely. And the same for all of our fun activities throughout the year.
What was your favorite part of filling out the keepsake section?Hearing their memories with my family and I and having my heart be warm again. There isn’t really an opportunity to hear fosters (or any kid really) talk about their favorite things/memories and reminisce about their time with you as they are often talking and reminiscing about their “old life” instead. You hope you’re creating fun and lasting memories for them, but you never really know and that’s why the keepsake section is such a heartwarming part of the book. And since their case has been so hard and I am just ready for it all to come to an end, it was a sweet reminder that there were many good times and it helped me to humble myself and be grateful for the opportunity to play such an important and encouraging role in their hard lives.
-Rebecca G
